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Even after their pants are off, keep teasing your partner. Also discussing that what might have felt good before might not feel good today, and that is not a personal attack or critique it's just how most with vulvas can respond. Sarah Watson , licensed professional counselor and sex therapist. Just check in with your partner first and make sure teasing is something they'll enjoy. You also want to make sure to wash your hands right before getting down to business, to protect your partner from getting an infection in this area. But all must be agreed upon first.

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Do you have a general primer on how to give a handjob to a woman?

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Plus, the more fun you have, the more relaxed your partner is going to feel, and the more pleasure they'll allow themself to take in. Take the time to get to know your body and what it likes. Try a couple clitoral strokes , like circling around their clitoris with one finger, gliding diagonally across the surface, rubbing up and down, or going side to side. Most people with vulvas need repetitive, consistent clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Artificial lube will not only decrease your partner's discomfort and any potential pain , but it will also increase their sensitivity and help your fingers move more deftly. You want your partner to be aching for skin-to-skin contact by the time you finally let them have it.

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