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When I first got my period, my mom did all the embarrassing stuff moms do when their first daughters get their periods. There's a great debate about which is "better" and which is "worse" — having long inner labia that extend past your outer labia, or having outer labia that extend past your inner labia, keeping them nice and contained. But if she's hacking away at her labia to please a man or to convince a man that she isn't a slut, that's not a reason for going under the knife that I can support. While that's changed for me as I've matured into a sex positive, vagina celebrating woman of 34 years old, I still understand why women carry shame about the way their vaginas look. There are women who are so concerned about their "outies" that they have plastic surgery, known as labiaplasty , to cut back their inner labia and make them look more appealing. But already I knew that having a "big vagina" was not something to be proud about having.

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Danna. Age: 20.
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In addition to the studs I got gunned into my earlobes, I also got some wisdom from my mom regarding taking care of all that uterine lining I was shedding now that I was, ostensibly, a woman.

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Riley. Age: 24.
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No one comes out and directly says that having longer inner labia makes you look slutty, but the connotation is there. You were born with labia to help protect your genitals and to help you get the most pleasure possible out of sex. While that's changed for me as I've matured into a sex positive, vagina celebrating woman of 34 years old, I still understand why women carry shame about the way their vaginas look. You weren't born with labia so that you could be judged for what they look like. Have genitals that take up space, that hang, that doesn't look like what men see in porn, that's considered undesirable, and the lengthening a byproduct of excessive use. Wondering what pierced ears has to do with your ability to get pregnant? Isn't it funny how the longer a man's penis is the more we praise him for it, but the longer a woman's labia are the less desirable she is considered to be?

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